Save Suz

Just as I am feeling down about my life situation (David working a lot, condo still not sold, money very tight, cholesterol too high), I got onto my Facebook and was reminded how much I really do have. A good friend of mine from college, Suz is going through quite an ordeal lately. She has recently had surgery for Stage 4 endometriosis. Around the time of her surgery, she was "fired" from her job. They told her it was due to poor performance, but we all know it's from her medical issues as Suz has never been given any warnings, verbal nor written about performance. So, she is now jobless and insurance-less. (This is why we need Universal Healthcare, but I digress) She is out of cash and needs help with her December rent. I donated some money and supplies for her. Some of you know Suz, most of you don't. If you feel like donating a few bucks towards her rent, please contact me and I will pass along her information. Suz is a sweet natured, kind, talented, beautiful soul.  I have attached a picture of an Ebay auction to help out Suz in mid-November should you be interested.  Thank you friends!

Thank you Suz for putting my life into perspective. We have to focus on the things we have and what is going right instead of the not so great things. Love you Suz!!

And the leaves that were green, turn to brown

(The title is from one of my favorite Simon and Garfunkel songs)

While raking leaves yesterday, Lily told me "When the leaves fall, they look like people running. Or maybe dogs. Or anything that can run." Caught me funny and I had a big smile of my face afterwards.

The only thing constant is change

So my dream of blogging at least once a week to keep up with our lives has fallen very short. Life is so busy. I have the kids to watch, the house to keep up, my part time job and I have started back up with Lemongrass Spa (I have two parties this month!). My apologies to the two readers out there. I will blog when I can. David has been working a lot at work and at our condo (no renters right now, trying to sell). So, I have been a bit more stressed out than normal. However, life overall is good. Here are a few pics of the kiddos.

Feeling Like a Twelve Year Old

So, I am currently 37 years old and inside I am feeling like I'm 12. It's not just my new favorite actor Jon Hamm. Yes, I started watching Mad Men (thank you Amy, one of the best shows ever!) and found Jon quite the handsome man. I even bought the movie "Bridesmaids" because I thought it hilarious and Jon Hamm is in the movie. I don't buy movies! I rarely watch movies over and over again. Silly me.

But other than this, I sometimes struggle with the same feelings I had when I was 12. I thought I would have outgrown these by now. I was on Facebook and I saw that a high school acquaintance "friended" a friend of mine. This person has common friends with me and I thought "Well, why hasn't she asked to friend me too?" Bam, all kind of high school feelings came back to me. I felt on the outskirts of this group of friends. I had two friends in the group and just felt the others didn't like me. There was a party once and a member of this group was passing out the flyers with information about the party. I was sitting at lunch with them and she looked at me with a not so nice look on her face and said, "Well, I guess I should give one to you too." I felt oh so welcome to attend! I really liked this group of gals and wanted to join in their group of friends, but just never felt like I was a part of their friendships. Like I said two of them were very nice to me and I hung out with just them and am grateful for their friendships.

Some say the best years of their life was high school. I struggled with junior high and high school. I wanted everyone to like me to a fault. I think I still can be that way. So, needless to say, I didn't really enjoy junior high and high school. College was better. 

I guess a part of this is me feeling kind of on the outside. Feeling like I'm never quite cool enough. I've struggled with feeling like I can't find my niche in life. I like to do a lot of things and try a lot of things, but I never really master anything. I so admire ultra creative people. I used to draw all the time in hopes that one day I could be an artist. I sang in choirs, at my Spiritual Center but never really went anywhere with singing. I struggle with harmonizing with the other singers and never quite felt confident enough to put myself out there. I like to tell people "I have a good voice for choir, but not a soloist." I feel I knit okay and do enjoy that. Definitely will stick with knitting!

I feel an outsider in Colorado Springs too sometimes. It can be overwhelming with the conservative Christian groups. I'm not conservative and I am more Spiritual than religious. Sometimes I feel I get the hairy eyeball when someone finds out I'm not a conservative Christian.

Just having a down moment today. It will pass. I have many great people in my life and just need to focus on that.

Anyway...

I questioned if I should blog about this, or just keep it for my journal. I decided to place it on here in case anyone else ever feels like a 12 year old from time to time also. I know how you feel! We all struggle with something in our life. This is just mine.

Like Mother Like Daughter

I think Lily has picked up on my sweet tooth. This was a mini conversation tonight:

Lily: "My belly hurts on the inside. I think I'm hungry." Me: "Well, you ate dinner." Lily "Maybe I need dessert!"