Fake it 'til you make it

The last year and a half or so have been a bit more challenging for me than normal. I am quite the typical human being with good days and not so great days. However, these last 18 months have felt a bit like a heavy blanket. I have moments when all I want to do is cry and be sad, for no reason whatsoever. Well, if I'm honest with myself, I do have some reasons, I just don't always admit them to myself. As I've mentioned, I read quite a bit about the new thought/new age movement. One major theme is "change your thinking, change your life". Almost all religions have this concept as well. I was raised Catholic (no longer practicing) and Christianity has this saying as well; "As someone thinks within himself, so he is." -Proverbs 23:7
I do believe strongly in this concept, it's just been more challenging of late. This morning I pondered if faking happiness, prosperity, joy, and belonging would help me break out of this cycle of low feelings. I attempted it a bit through the day. Perhaps it helped some. I'm dog sitting this weekend, so I took him for a short walk (the puppy is an old man, such a sweetie) early this morning (early for me on a weekend: 8 am). It helped to move some. Walking and contemplating go hand in hand.
I am revisiting "The Secret". I own the book and the movie is on Netflix. Hard to believe the movie came out 12 years ago. This book goes into the Law of Attraction quite a bit. Most new thought ideas have some sort of Law of Attraction within their belief system, it's just not always said with such words. I'm also listening to "Friendship with God", by Neale Donald Walsch. I read that book many moons ago when it was first released. I don't reread books often. With my new age books, I like to read them again years later as they always have something else to tell me. Similar concepts in this book regarding connecting with your higher source, whatever name you want to call it. I'm enjoying it as well.
I know, by divine right, I get to experience happiness. I know this is a choice I get to make. This week, I will wake up with gratitude for my life. Let's see how this week goes.

Music

So many thoughts, ideas, emotions, dreams, and just plain life contain music. The majority of the time, I have music in my life, whether it be playing out loud, in the car (always in the car), in my earbuds, or I'm just singing in my head. Music is a part of who we are as humans. We come together over music. Music can heal, bring laughter, induce tears, and be quite cathartic. 

I have memories of my Dad working in our garage in our first house in Indianapolis. We had a one-story, three-bedroom, one and a half bath house with a detached garage. My dad had a record player in the garage and I'd watch him work, on, what I can't remember; while playing music and singing along. There was one record with the words "son of a gun" on the album cover. I remember thinking that was a bad phrase, and I would chuckle to myself when I'd read those words in my head. Such a rebel! 

My first concert was Neil Diamond, Indianapolis' Market Square Arena in 1984 (ish). The concert was almost three hours long and I practically fell asleep until I heard "Coming to America". As I got a bit older, I was made fun of for seeing and listening to Neil Diamond. Apparently, he wasn't cool enough. In high school, I was made fun of for liking George Michael - not alternative enough. In college, a few people rolled their eyes because I listened to Dave Matthews Band, "they sold out". Why do we make fun of others for the music they listen to? Why do we define ourselves by the music we enjoy? There is music I like and don't like. Doesn't mean I have the right to make fun of someone for their preferences.

I find myself drawn to the songs of melancholy. The more broken hearted, the better. Why? I really don't know. Perhaps because for so long, I was invariably broken hearted over someone or something. I still struggle with that today, just not as strongly. Perhaps this music means I'm really okay. I'm not all that different from other people. We all experience pain from time to time. For me, music can release a bit of that sadness.

So today, I'm inspired to listen to a bit of my childhood music as I work on weekend chores.

Rock on!