So, I am currently 37 years old and inside I am feeling like I'm 12. It's not just my new favorite actor Jon Hamm. Yes, I started watching Mad Men (thank you Amy, one of the best shows ever!) and found Jon quite the handsome man. I even bought the movie "Bridesmaids" because I thought it hilarious and Jon Hamm is in the movie. I don't buy movies! I rarely watch movies over and over again. Silly me.
But other than this, I sometimes struggle with the same feelings I had when I was 12. I thought I would have outgrown these by now. I was on Facebook and I saw that a high school acquaintance "friended" a friend of mine. This person has common friends with me and I thought "Well, why hasn't she asked to friend me too?" Bam, all kind of high school feelings came back to me. I felt on the outskirts of this group of friends. I had two friends in the group and just felt the others didn't like me. There was a party once and a member of this group was passing out the flyers with information about the party. I was sitting at lunch with them and she looked at me with a not so nice look on her face and said, "Well, I guess I should give one to you too." I felt oh so welcome to attend! I really liked this group of gals and wanted to join in their group of friends, but just never felt like I was a part of their friendships. Like I said two of them were very nice to me and I hung out with just them and am grateful for their friendships.
Some say the best years of their life was high school. I struggled with junior high and high school. I wanted everyone to like me to a fault. I think I still can be that way. So, needless to say, I didn't really enjoy junior high and high school. College was better.
I guess a part of this is me feeling kind of on the outside. Feeling like I'm never quite cool enough. I've struggled with feeling like I can't find my niche in life. I like to do a lot of things and try a lot of things, but I never really master anything. I so admire ultra creative people. I used to draw all the time in hopes that one day I could be an artist. I sang in choirs, at my Spiritual Center but never really went anywhere with singing. I struggle with harmonizing with the other singers and never quite felt confident enough to put myself out there. I like to tell people "I have a good voice for choir, but not a soloist." I feel I knit okay and do enjoy that. Definitely will stick with knitting!
I feel an outsider in Colorado Springs too sometimes. It can be overwhelming with the conservative Christian groups. I'm not conservative and I am more Spiritual than religious. Sometimes I feel I get the hairy eyeball when someone finds out I'm not a conservative Christian.
Just having a down moment today. It will pass. I have many great people in my life and just need to focus on that.
Anyway...
I questioned if I should blog about this, or just keep it for my journal. I decided to place it on here in case anyone else ever feels like a 12 year old from time to time also. I know how you feel! We all struggle with something in our life. This is just mine.
But other than this, I sometimes struggle with the same feelings I had when I was 12. I thought I would have outgrown these by now. I was on Facebook and I saw that a high school acquaintance "friended" a friend of mine. This person has common friends with me and I thought "Well, why hasn't she asked to friend me too?" Bam, all kind of high school feelings came back to me. I felt on the outskirts of this group of friends. I had two friends in the group and just felt the others didn't like me. There was a party once and a member of this group was passing out the flyers with information about the party. I was sitting at lunch with them and she looked at me with a not so nice look on her face and said, "Well, I guess I should give one to you too." I felt oh so welcome to attend! I really liked this group of gals and wanted to join in their group of friends, but just never felt like I was a part of their friendships. Like I said two of them were very nice to me and I hung out with just them and am grateful for their friendships.
Some say the best years of their life was high school. I struggled with junior high and high school. I wanted everyone to like me to a fault. I think I still can be that way. So, needless to say, I didn't really enjoy junior high and high school. College was better.
I guess a part of this is me feeling kind of on the outside. Feeling like I'm never quite cool enough. I've struggled with feeling like I can't find my niche in life. I like to do a lot of things and try a lot of things, but I never really master anything. I so admire ultra creative people. I used to draw all the time in hopes that one day I could be an artist. I sang in choirs, at my Spiritual Center but never really went anywhere with singing. I struggle with harmonizing with the other singers and never quite felt confident enough to put myself out there. I like to tell people "I have a good voice for choir, but not a soloist." I feel I knit okay and do enjoy that. Definitely will stick with knitting!
I feel an outsider in Colorado Springs too sometimes. It can be overwhelming with the conservative Christian groups. I'm not conservative and I am more Spiritual than religious. Sometimes I feel I get the hairy eyeball when someone finds out I'm not a conservative Christian.
Just having a down moment today. It will pass. I have many great people in my life and just need to focus on that.
Anyway...
I questioned if I should blog about this, or just keep it for my journal. I decided to place it on here in case anyone else ever feels like a 12 year old from time to time also. I know how you feel! We all struggle with something in our life. This is just mine.
