The last few days have been a bit rough for me. I'm feeling a bit bored and blue with my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and my children. I just find being a stay at home Mom very challenging sometimes and this is one of those times. I feel like every day is painfully the same, even the weekends when my husband is home all day. For my sanity and my children's sanity, I do love schedules. My kids are on a basic schedule of sleeping. Go to bed at 7:30 and Jack has two naps while Lily has one nap. I have been successful with getting Lily's afternoon nap in line with Jack's afternoon nap. There are days when that doesn't happen, but for the most part, they sleep at the same time. Therefore, we must make sure we are home for those naps. I am leaving playgroups early or arriving late because of the nap schedule. It will get easier when Jack moves to one nap a day, when he is about a year old.
This morning I just felt so blue about the day. I had no plans today and felt like the 3 hours before the afternoon nap would be forever. I ended up taking the kids to the mall and having Lily play in the play area they provide. It did help pass the time. Right now Jack is in his crib and Lily is finishing up her lunch. (I forgot to feed her lunch before going to the mall - oops! Poor girl).
I think I need to find myself a hobby that I can devote time to each week. I also need to find time to spend with my girl friends without children. That brings up another thing I feel guilty about. When I am away, that means my husband is watching the kids. I feel guilty asking him to watch the kids because he does have a full time job outside of the house. So, he is either working at his outside job, watching the kids or doing something around the house. I try to be cognizant of his fun time too and encourage him to take a guys night as well. I'm supposed to have a day a week to myself. Well, a morning a week (David goes to work at 11:30am). I am not so great about taking this day. Last week it didn't happen and so far no plans to do so this week. The week before last I did have a morning and man, it made all the difference in the world. I need to be better about getting with David and working out a schedule to have a morning to myself each week.
I have applied for a couple of part time jobs. I think this would allow me to feel like I can use my brain more than Motherhood. The down side to a morning PT job would be I'd miss out on the playgroups. So, I have mixed feelings about working right now. I think my Mommy friends really help pull me through these early childrearing years. It's nice to talk with them and know that I'm not the only one feeling challenged with raising young children.
So, as I'm writing this, Lily is now in bed and banging on her crib, which wakes up Jack. Now they are both screaming. There goes quiet time!!
I know this is a phase and I'll get through it. Just needed to vent...happier blog next time. I promise!!!
