Lily is a DECADE!

Lily, you are a full decade! The double digits!

Lily, this is how I see you at age 10: 

• You are a fabulous artist. You love to draw and color. You enjoy all types of arts and crafts. I am amazed at your artistic abilities.
• You are a good friend. You good buddies at School In The Woods are: Tayler, Helen, Anna, Koa and Keegan
• Your teacher is Ms. Zaranek at School in the Woods. You were so happy you got into this school. I believe this school year will change you for the better and will be a memory you have your entire life. 
• You are a night owl. Given your choice, you'd stay up until 10pm and sleep in until at least 8am. 
• You love all things sweet, minus chocolate. You are always up for a treat. (You and I are similar, night owl sweet tooth people). 
• You enjoy reading. You have been reading Percy Jackson, Harry Potter and anything about Greek gods. 
• You want to be an ornithologist when you grow up. You know quite a bit about birds already. 
• You are kind and caring. When someone is upset, it upsets you as well and you are quite giving with your hugs. 
• You are strong. You are your own person and you are confident in this knowing. I am so very proud of who you are. 
• Your favorite meal would be a plate of potatoes. 
• You are a collector. You find value in many items. 

My childhood is chipping away

2016 was a very rough year for celebrity deaths. Many of these people were quite popular when I was a child. These deaths make me feel a bit old. More than feeling old, the older I get the more sensitive I become and I cry when I think about the family and friends they have left.
Carrie Fisher - I loved her humor and her strength. George Michael - I loved his music and his kindness. You will be missed.

http://fiftiesweb.com/dead/dead-people-2016/

Jack is 8!

Jack, today you are 8 years old! You bring joy to my life every day. What a fabulous 8 years it has been. I love you always! 

This is how I see you as an 8 year old: 

• You are so very kind. You are a good friend, brother and son. 
• You laugh often. 
• You absolutely love your sister. 
• You love pizza and pasta. 
• You don't like sweets so much. You didn't have any cake on your birthday because "it's too much sugar". 
• You like to play Minecraft. 
• You enjoy Pokemon and Star Wars. 
• You give random hugs everyday. Please keep up this practice. 
• You are a homebody. You enjoy staying at home in your pajamas. 
• You like to play mini-golf. 
• You would wear a t-shirt everyday if you could, even when the high is -3 degrees. You seem to never get cold. 
• You like to go sledding. 
• You kick my butt in Uno. 
• You are quick with math. 
• You have an eye for puzzles. 
• You think creatively often. This will serve you well through your life. 

May you keep your sweetness through the years. Be Jack always, the world needs you! 

Writing

       I have never seen myself as a writer. I have longed to be someone who could write a novel: A Jennifer Weiner, a Jodi Picoult, a Glennon Doyle Melton or a Brene Brown. I am not them. I am only me. Of late, I have been digging deep to discover who I am. I have pushed myself away in hopes of becoming like someone else, that, in fact, I don't really know me. I'm working towards no longer apologizing for things that are not my fault. I'm working towards ceasing explaining myself, when an explanation isn't necessary. I'm working towards saying "no" without guilt. I'm working on not being embarrassed if I feel I have "more of something" than someone else. I worry so much that I may look like I'm gloating, that I reduce myself into such a small version of whatever I think I need to be so no one is offended. This, not feeling like I'm gloating, is quite challenging for me. 

       So starting now, when I feel the need/want to write, I will just write. I will not worry about being grammatically correct, nor, sounding intelligent. I am just going to write. 

November 8, 2016

I know blogging is quite 2006 of me. I felt compelled to write about the events of this week. On Tuesday, America elected Donald Trump to be our President. Even as I write this, it doesn't seem possible. A reality tv star as President? A man who has never served his country, nor has any experience with government nor contributes to society an anyway meaningful? It seems like a joke and the laughs are on us.

Lily and Jack, if you happen to ever come upon this post in the future, know your Mom voted in this election. I supported Hillary Clinton with the hopes of a more progressive nation and the first woman President. I did, in fact support Bernie Sanders during the primaries, or caucus as Colorado had, as his views are more inline with mine, and I feel Hillary would have done a fabulous job. I have admired Hillary since 1992 when she became our First Lady. She is a woman with opinions and ideas and isn't afraid to move forward, even with immense conflict. She continues to come back to work for people each and every time adversity hits.

The moment I realized Trump would be President elect, I cried. I cried constantly for about 24 hours. The reason I cried was that so many people chose to vote for a man who represents hate, fear and bigotry. As I feel today, and imagine I will feel for awhile, I will not call him my President.

This Alanis song reminds me of how I feel about my country. It's quite messed up, and yet, I love it still.



"Still"

I am the harm which you inflict.
I am your brilliance and frustration.
I'm the nuclear bombs if they're to hit.
I am your immaturity and your indigence.
I am your misfits and your praised.
I am your doubt and your conviction.
I am your charity and your rape.
I am your grasping and expectation.

I see you averting your glances.
I see you cheering on the war.
I see you ignoring your children,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.

I am your joy and your regret.
I am your fury and your elation.
I am your yearning and your sweat.
I am your faithless and your religion.

I see you altering history.
I see you abusing the land.
I see you, your selective amnesia,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.

I see you averting your glances.
I see you cheering on the war.
I see you ignoring your children,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.
I see you altering history.
I see you abusing the land.
I see you, your selective amnesia,
I love you still.
And I love you still.

I am your tragedy and your fortune.
I am your crisis and delight.
I am your profits and your prophets.
I am your art, I am your vice.
I am your death and your decisions.
I am your passion and your plight.
I am your sickness and convalescence.
I am your weapons and your light.

I see you holding your grudges.
I see you gunning them down.
I see you silencing your sisters,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.
I see you lie to your country.
I see you forcing them out.
I see you blaming each other,
And I love you still.
And I love you still.

I see you holding your grudges.
I see you gunning them down.
I see you silencing your sisters,
I love you still.
I love you still.
I see you lie to your country.
I see you forcing them out.
I see you blaming each other.
I love you still.
I love you still.
I see you.