Confidence

The last few weeks have been challenging. I experienced a level of stress I haven't experienced before. I was so stressed, I was getting sick.  I felt I was floating above my own body. I cried for at least eight hours. What was this? A panic attack? I didn't have a racing heart, nor did I feel as though I were dying. It was a perfect storm of issues from work and home and came together in one big cluster. Through all of this, and with help from my family, I learned that I must work on my confidence. I tend to feel not good enough in most areas of my life. I sometimes feel like a fraud. Do people really trust me to be a wife, a Mom, a friend and an HR professional?

So now, I get to practice. I'm practicing/faking until I make it that I am confident. As Brene Brown states, you have to show up and be heard. I get to practice speaking up in meetings when I feel a bit stupid. I get to practice saying no even though I fear disappointing people. I get to practice self-care.

A part of my self-care. I went back to my childhood home of Indiana. I spent time with my family and had a much-needed break. I learned from my brother that confidence can make you go from feeling like a six to a nine out of ten. I learned from my sister that the cute guy in college probably did like me, but I was too shy to show my interest.

I have moments of feeling very confident. I will hold onto those until more come.